The Notebook

I just finished reading this book called The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks, yesterday. The first Nicholas Sparks book i read was in November '09. Message In A Bottle. And it was especially tragic for me, cause, well, firstly, i was in Goa. So that added to the drama in the book. Secondly, cause i was recovering from a heartbreak. And thirdly, because it's beautifully written. Well, Message In A Bottle wasn't the best thing for me at that time, because it made it harder for me to let go. It actually created a kind of vortex of contradictory emotions within me. On the one hand it said, sometimes, even if you love a person, you just have to let go. But it also said, that if you have someone you love, never let them go, for you might never get a chance to make them yours again. I'd weep whenever i would read the book.

The Notebook's reviews said "it'll have you weeping for the joy and tragedy of it all" and i kept waiting for it to come, yes, it was sad at times, but didn't hit me like i expected it to. But then i reached the last quarter of the book. And i swear, i wept through the entire thing. It got me thinking, life is what we remember it to be right? and our experiences and memories make us who we are, but to forget everything, that's like you've lived a life that you've never lived. Get me? Of course some part of you still would know and remember your entire life, i.e your soul. But you wouldn't. Imagine the terror that would go through your mind every morning when you wake up not knowing who you are. And imagine the pain that you would go through when the person you've loved all your life, the only person you've ever loved, looks you in the eye and asks you who you are.

I wish I never have to go through any of that. But then again, who does? I never really understood people who went ga-ga over love stories and romantic movies. What was the big deal about love? But then, i fell in love and understood what the hype was about. This love led to a relationship which ended in a lot of pain. Cause by both of us, to both of us. We still love each other, for love is a thing that never dies. But it isn't everything moving in slow motion and romantic music playing in the back ground. Neither is it thing that happens when men and women "fall" for each other. It's the warm feeling you get inside your tummy, when you're upset and your mom or dad or best friend hugs you. It's the heart wrenching pain you feel when you see your child get in an accident. It's the satisfaction you feel when you know you've made a person happy today. And it's the gratefulness you feel, when you are exactly where you want to be in your life, and your parents and still there, smiling at you.

Love isn't all rainbows and butterflies. And love at first sight, doesn't exist. THAT my friends is called attraction which happens due to the presence of sexually stimulating hormones in your body. Yes, the ugly, un-romantic , non-fairytale-like truth.

As "the verve" correctly stated, "..love is noise, love is pain...". You have to be very careful about whom you love, for when you love someone, you give them the right to hurt you as brutally as they wish to. Love isn't everything it's hyped up to be. It's less than that. And in many ways, it is so much more. Love involves more pain, than joy. But comfort and warmth in every moment. It makes you feel safe for some reason. But it also scares you to death. It gives you bad days. And good days. Sometimes more downs than ups. But it gives you this sort of security, knowing that at the end of the day, you'll always have that person. Or those people perhaps.

But you know, some days, when i'm all upset and broken, I can't help but to think to myself, "..whoever said love was the most powerful and beautiful thing in the world, clearly was an idiot.." . Now as i repeat these words to myself, they make no sense, but i swear, sometimes, they do.