we are all infants.

Last Sunday, my nani was in a car accident. A lady called up from a hospital in Coimbatore saying that nani was in a car accident and she was paralyzed. When my sister told me, i felt warm. the warmth started from my nose, and spread all over my face. diffused. and then it went down my neck, a shiver down my spine, warm arms. Warm salt. I started crying, not hysterically, but with a straight face. My sister had called mum up. Mum called me up to tell me to pack her bags, she was going to Coimbatore. She sounded solid. Unshaken. Mum's always been like that. I've only seen her cry once, and that's when we were putting my dog to sleep. She went to the airport but couldn't get a flight, so she came home. And when she came home, she was crying. I was scared. She was scared. Nani was alone.
Mum left the next morning. Caught the 6:30am flight. I had a math exam that day. I was going to him out. The accident obviously altered those plans. But that wasn't my main concern. What bothered me, was that when i saw him, i felt happy. To know that someone else has the key to your happiness, that's a scary thought.
I called mum after my exam, it seemed pretty bad. Nani was in the ICU. She was paralyzed. The woman who taught me to climb tress and the woman who takes us trekking through the Nilgiri forests, had been paralyzed. All over.
Nani was in a car accident a few months over 20 years ago. That crash killed my Nana and my Masi who was 16 at the time. The doctors had given up on nani, but she survived somehow, with a metal rod holding her spine and arms together. And a dozen pills, 4 times a day.
My Nani was in another car accident a couple of years ago. In the US. It was my surviving Masi's car, Nani's friend was driving. She claimed that the breakes failed. The car went over 4 cars and finally did a 180 degree rotation, fell upside down on the freeway. Nani broke a couple of ribs.
The effects of those accidents made this one more serious than it needed to be. Masi, who happens to be a doctor, caught the next flight from LA and got to Nani. Nani's brother, who also happens to be a doctor, reached there as well. It looked pretty serious. And for the first time ever, in my lifetime, nani cried.
Nani never cries. Not when i read out my Masi's last letter. Not when she showed me the clothes my Masi wore on the day of the crash. Not when she spoke of losing her husband and daughter. Never.
After much dilly-dallying, Dad finally told me exactly what happened. Nani's driver jumped a red light, and another speeding car crashed into Nani's car from behind. That gave nani's neck a solid jerk. Old arthiritis, the metal rod and the shock, resulted in Nani having no space in her vertebral column as a result, her nerves got pressed and she's paralyzed. So they decided to take her in for surgery on Monday, which happens to be day after. The got her out of the ICU though, and she's happier now. I wrote her a letter. Telling her about how i love her and respect her and look up to her.
Thing is, when you think you're going to lose someone, all the knowledge you have, all of your intellect and thought and wisdom and understanding, is of no use. You are reduced to this infant. And you're sad, just like anyone else. And you cry, just like anyone else. And you're weak and helpless. So love. And let people know you love them.